May you live in interesting times

After his ground-breaking invention of a water-run car that propelled him to cult status, Agha Waqar has announced another successful, yet astonishing invention, this time of a fart-run car.

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In July 2012, Agha Waqar claimed to have invented a water kit. The kit, consisting of a cylindrical jar holding water, electrodes, pakoray has a hose leading to the engine which by some miracle of nature, allows the engine to ignite and the car to run like a boss on broad Isloo roads.The mechanics of the car opened a new era in the field of science and technology, drastically changing the way the world was viewed and comprehended. It easily thwarted the law of thermodynamic and the law of conservation of energy. Scientists all over the world reportedly went into depression and are expected never to recover. As one professor form Munich University, Germany beautifully equated the water-run car with the tremendous impact it left on science.

[Scientific advancement since the time of Ptolemy

+ground realities+common sense+physical laws] X 0    = Workings of the water kit

The inventor, Agha Waqar, has reportedly returned with another apparatus which he claims will rock the world, throw it off its orbit and lead to its destruction. In this new car of his, farts, will be used exclusively as a fuel although other gases like sulphur dioxide, nitrogen and nullah ki badboo can be used.

Talking about this new invention of his. Mr. Agha Waqar went to lengths to prove its feasibility for a country like Pakistan. “You see, nowadays many people waste such copious amounts of money on fuels like petrol and CNG. This car will save Pakistanis of all the trouble of waiting in line for CNG, and wasting money on it. It will be run entirely on farts, a resource Pakistan has in abundance. Every Pakistani produces sufficient amounts of it, and it can even be made available on the local stores, in easy access to everyone.Also, the scientists of Pakistan, with a lack of anything to do, have become old and farty, they also can be put to good use through his. Our politicians don’t even need to use their posterior to generate any waste gases. All their empty promises and pretentious claims only amount to hot air, which can be easily used as fuel.

When asked about the working of his new innovation, he was more than happy to share. ”The water kit in my last car only worked to facilitate the engine. This new invention, however, has completely annihilated the role of engine in a car, and has replaced it with a pressure cooker. The gases will be filled inside the cooker and cooked on a high flame. They will then be used to turn a turbine. As the turbine moves, the generator works which then miraculously powers the car.

The researchers over at Karachi University have expressed concerns over the greenhouse effect of the emissions of such a car. But Agha Waqar retaliates, saying that the gases could always be refined into cleaner fuels. He has promised to clear all the misconceptions relating to his invention when he makes his first media appearance since his latest invention, on Capital Talk. Hamid Mir(the host of Capital Talk), was the first to give him media coverage. He himself drove the water-run car in Islamabad, and called Agha Waqar and asset of the country. This time too, he has shown his support by calling farts an indispensable source of alternative energy and himself promising to contribute towards the fuel of this car.

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Hamid Mir poses with the water-run car

For the time being, however, Agha Waqar, has sent several prototypes of his fart-run car to notable universities around the world. Many researchers have keeled over and died after examining the car, although no-one can determine whether it was due to the sheer stupidity of the car or the acidic quality of Pakistani farts.

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About amnashoaib

Books. Bhelpuri. Hanging from the ceiling
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